Marathons don’t accept excuses. There’s no shortcuts and no miracles, you get what you deserve. That’s the way I like it and that’s why I walk away from Nottingham without my sub-4 time and accept my 4.17, if not happily, then graciously. Because I know, on this occasion, it wasn’t on the cards because I didn’t put the hard work in.

4.17 is a PB of 14 mins, but it’s not all I’d hoped it would be. Yes, it was windy and yes, it was hillier than I’d planned for, but no excuses: my training just didn’t warrant a sub-4 this time. I should have accepted this sooner. Instead I went through the first (hilly) half in 2 hours which meant a lot of suffering in the second half.

Nottingham was a bitch and it punished me for every hill training session I’ve missed. You know the Penrose Steps? It’s the optical illusion of a never ending staircase. That’s what Nottingham was like. The start, half-way point and the finish were all at the same places so laws of geography should dictate that for every uphill there is an equivalent downhill. It didn’t seem that way to my legs.

Between miles 9 and 13 the most boring man in the world was running behind me. That sort of thing you can’t train or plan for. He was giving some poor guy a lecture about nutrition for a good few miles before discussing how much he’s earnt at various jobs he’s had and then going on (after we all had to step aside for an ambulance to get through) about how he’d seen a guy get defibrillated at London Marathon. Really dude, do you think any of us wanted that vision in our minds while running our legs off?

After 5,500 half-marathoners turned off for their finish, it was a lonely 1,400 that carried on for the rest of the course. And this was where it started to go a bit wrong for me. I made it to where my family waited excitedly at 17 miles before my speed took a nosedive.

17 miles in
The hills had destroyed my legs and they weren’t going to recover. After mile 17 I had to accept that sub-4 was not going to happen today. But once your goal has slipped away it’s difficult to keep on keeping on. Sub 4.10 was always the Plan B and something I’d have been happy with, but as I turned onto the rowing lake and hit the mile-long wind tunnel of doom, that too vanished into the distance.

My family were the stars of the day and officially the hardest working spectators on the course. They made it to miles 17, 20, 23 and the finish to cheer on me and any other runner going past all without using any banned substances. To be fair though I did give them a fighting chance by slowing considerably between these markers. Without them those wind tunnel miles would have been much harder.

It was a long slog back along the River Trent to the finish from here on with some of the hardest 5 miles I’ve ever run stretched out in front of me. But I made it to the end and took my medal and my PBs with honour.

Yes, that’s right – PB plural. The 14 minutes I knocked of my Brighton marathon time was only the second PB of the day. The first? Only one toilet/bush stop on the marathon. This is the second time that Nottingham has been exposed to my bare rear end in the past couple of months after my skirt blew up while I was drunk on a night out there (see ‘reasons why I didn’t go sub-4’).

PB number three is for the number of black toenails I now have – five trumps the three I got in Brighton. Now I hope pick up one last PBs from Nottingham. After Brighton marathon I was back in heels in five days. I’m hoping to knock a good half day off of that record this week. My toes feel differently about this.

2017-06-23T07:40:23+00:00 12 September 2011|


  1. Romanoliz September 12, 2011 at 10:19 AM

    Great race report and I don’t know how you carried on after seeing us half(ers) dropping off the course. Well done on your many PBs and good luck with those heels!

  2. LazyGirl September 12, 2011 at 10:32 AM

    Thanks Romanoliz! Well done on completing the hilly half!

  3. Runner795 September 12, 2011 at 11:51 AM

    Very good report and a nice finishers medal for your collection, well done and Whoop Whoop for your PB :o)

  4. Anonymous September 12, 2011 at 12:25 PM

    Well done on Nottingham. I have the melbourne marathon in 4 weeks time and have begun to realise that my sub 4 hrs target is not realistic. It probably was realistic at one point but injuries and life just got in the way! But thanks for it blog – I only discovered it recently but it has helped keep me motivated. Rich

  5. Susan September 12, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    Hey Miss Laura,
    Congratulations on marathon number 2. So, what’s next for our favorite “lazy girl”? With more hill training and less “pub frequenting”, you will earn that sub 4 marathon!:-)

  6. Old Runningfox. September 12, 2011 at 8:53 PM

    Congratulations on a storming run, a cracking report and great PB. You don’t sound all that lazy to me!

  7. Lisa September 12, 2011 at 11:21 PM

    Great job on your PBs! And also for gutting through to Plan B or Plan C….whichever you landed on.

    What’s next 🙂

  8. LazyGirl September 13, 2011 at 8:09 AM

    Thanks guys.

    Lisa – I have a flat half marathon in four weeks in my home town. Last year I ran 1:56 so looking for something 1:50-1:55. need to get the legs working again first though!

  9. Anonymous September 13, 2011 at 5:08 PM

    i enjoyed reading your account of the race – i burst out laughing when you wrote about the boring man running behind you.

    thanks for the laugh xx

  10. Lisa Beaney September 14, 2011 at 1:20 PM

    Well done ! I always love reading your blog. Glad to hear you got a PB…. so, which marathon is next ??

  11. fortnightflo September 16, 2011 at 8:14 PM

    Fab race report – felt like I was there with you for the last 9 miles. Well done on the PB, hope you are back in your heels!

  12. Cookie September 22, 2011 at 9:07 AM

    Very well done! Only those who turned the bottom corner round the lake will understand just how strong that wind was in the ‘wind tunnel of doom’. Awful. Club runners in the 3:30 category were stopping and walking! I actually loved the first half…but then, unlike you, I live amongst hills so found the Nottingham undulations fine. It was a beautiful atmosphere and I’m sure your family would have cheered me on too so please pass on my thanks 🙂

    Don’t be sad about missing out on 4:00 – that was perhaps unlikely on that course on that windy day….

  13. LazyGirl September 22, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    Thanks Cookie! Got a couple of marathons lined up for next year – 2012 will be my year I think.

  14. Butterflyexperince September 30, 2011 at 4:45 PM

    Thanks for a great account of the Nottingham marathon, my home town and I’m planning on making I my first marathon for next year and had no idea how hilly the route is! I hate hills 🙁

  15. LazyGirl September 30, 2011 at 7:50 PM

    If you’re from Notts you might think that what I call hills are just inclines. Scout out the route and see what you think. For a flat half marathon I recommend Peterborough’s Great Eastern Run which I’ll be doing next week. My home town and not far from Nottingham.

  16. Patrick November 16, 2014 at 2:47 AM

    Hi,just discovered your blog-only about 3 yrs late.
    I really like what you said in the first paragraph. Not bragging or complaining,but the 42 km is enough to test you and prove whether or not you trained well.

    You do not sound lazy at all, and I am looking fwd to reading more-well done on your Marathons.If you get to do another one,maybe the wind will be gone and with a bit of tough training you will get the 4 hrs.

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