The Ironman in Bolton is getting unnervingly close. I spend my waking hours flitting between being nervous about what’s going to happen on the day and telling myself that I can do it.

I’ve made a list of things to take with me, a list of things I’ll need on the day and a list of people who I need very much to buy a drink once it’s all over. I’ve booked a holiday for immediately after the race and a post-Ironman party for buying some of those people a drink two weeks later.

I was nervous about booking space in a pub and inviting people to celebrate my life post-Ironman with me. What if I don’t do it? What if I don’t finish the race? I could get a mechanical, I could get too ill to continue or I could simply not make the cut off. How would the celebratory drinks go then? Should I wait until I’ve done it and send the invite out then?

Then I decided I didn’t care.

bike ride

I KNOW I can complete an Ironman. I know I’m fit enough, strong enough and stubborn enough to swim 3.8km, cycle 112 miles and run 26.2 miles. Whether I do it on one specific day in Bolton or not, I can do an Ironman. I’ve tested my body enough over the past 30 weeks and got to know what it’s capable of well enough to know that an Ironman, while not being easy, is something this body (and mind) can do.

And I intend to celebrate that. Whether I’m wearing my finisher medal or not, I intend to get drunk with some of the people that have supported me over the past few months and to celebrate being the fittest I’ve ever been.

I’m glad I entered this race. My friend Liz Goodchild says that goals should be big scary things that you’re not entirely sure you can do. The Ironman has fulfilled this role for me. That one day in Bolton has been the aim, but the journey to get there has been so much more rewarding than I expected.

I’ve been out on long bike rides around parts of the countryside that I would never have seen if it wasn’t for that race. I’ve swum 3.6km in a lido on a sunny Wednesday morning. I swam up and down for an hour and a half in a lake. These are things that I wouldn’t have tried, wouldn’t have thought possible and wouldn’t have experienced if it wasn’t for that big goal looming in the distance.

And while I’ll probably never do another Ironman again after Bolton, I will ride my bike for hours on end through the countryside, swim up and down in rivers, lakes and lidos and find new scary goals to chase down. I’ve got a lot out of this Ironman already. A medal to say I did it would be nice, but I already know I’ve won.