I can barely contain my excitement about next week’s show long enough to discuss last night’s, but here goes. From the off we were teased with new footage in the opening titles. As well as contestants that we’ve loved and lost (remember Big G? I wonder if he’s still Big G or maybe now he’s more Medium G) there was footage of them running, and cycling somewhere hot – could this be the triathlon I’ve heard about?

We recap last week and the clip of Angie saying ‘what’s gone wrong? It must be the food’ will come back to haunt her later on. This week starts with her getting on the Black team’s backs about eating cheese and she stops herself short of hurling it on the floor and stamping on it. It seems Angie doesn’t like cheese. Maybe she’s intolerant, or is it spelled intolerable? In Angie’s favour this week she seemed almost as annoyed as I was that the team had voted off Claire. Bad Black team.

Meanwhile Richard is getting on the Blue team’s backs quite literally. He mounts the lovely Wil and makes him do squats. I spent a good few minutes wondering whether it was worth me becoming a gold card member of McDonalds in order to get big enough that Richard would do the same for me. But that didn’t last for long because Wil started crying and I had to see what that was all about. It’s OK, he was happy.

Another silly challenge ensued where the Portsmouth ambulance service were dispatched to the 557ft high Spinnaker Tower to see if the Blue team or Black team would collapse first while racing to the top of the 570 steps. The ambulances went home empty though and the Black team made it to the top first won a phonecall each. None of them used it to call the local Dominos or a taxi firm, instead opting to call family members that they’ve been incommunicado from for five weeks.

The temptation challenge saw them eating chocolate eggs. Well, it’s Easter soon enough I suppose. Maybe next week the topical treats will continue with a huge wedding cake with Kate and Will’s face on it. I wonder what Angie’s thoughts on marzipan are? One of the eggs contained £1000 and wouldn’t you know it, annoying Rob won it.

Then it was time for the weigh-in and either there was some really bad maths going on or someone was lying about how tense they were finding it. Both teams had lost the same amount of weight – but the black team had one less person. ‘It was neck and neck’. Well, hardly. The Black team were the clear winners as soon as Karen of the Blues stepped on the scales. Well done to Wil (AKA go Wil) and Mark who both lost 9lb each. The Blue team decided not to employ the voting tactics of the nasty Black team last week and agreed among them that Ayander would go. Cue weepy goodbyes.

Just as we were getting ready to turn over, the black and white flash forward to next week revealed somebody was to be sent home for an early bath – and it wasn’t one of the contestants. Oh no, Angie apparently told the Black team to eat just apples and nuts. ‘This is at odds with what the Biggest Loser believes’ says Richard. So she is ‘stepping back from the rest of the series’ which I think means she’ll be joining Big G and all the others we’ve quickly forgotten down at the local council run leisure centre.

Catch-up: Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4